When it comes to the noble hobby of video gaming, there are a whole bunch of tried and true concepts to build new products from. Not even one of those concepts involves mashing onions as quickly and strategically as possible in order to make fruits appear that you mash to rack up points while space cows trot across the bottom of the screen and little cartoon characters throw off their clothes and embrace passionately in the starry sky. But thanks to Million Onion Hotel [$3.99], we can finally live the dream, friends. This is a fast-paced yet strategic arcade-puzzle game, and if nothing else, I can say that you probably haven't ever seen anything quite like it before.

The story here is that in the distant future, there's an island divided neatly down the middle into two countries. They have a very uneasy alliance, with war just one bad move away at all times. In the middle of the two countries sits a special hotel with an onion soup that's famous far and wide. A VIP guest arrives to try to get his hands on the soup recipe, and things quickly start to get out of hand. Before the night is through, every guest of the hotel will have to learn the meaning of love and peace. If they survive, anyway. Got all that" It's not really so important, particularly when you're just starting the game. But it doesn't hurt to know. Million Onion Hotel is the brainchild of Yoshiro Kimura, best known to Western gamers for titles such as Little King's Story and Dandy Dungeon. He has always...